7 Nights of Sexual Intimacy

Night 1: He Massages her

On the first night, the husband should give his wife a long, sensual massage that is not focused on her sexual zones. Focus on her shoulders, her back, the inside of her knee, the inside of her elbow, her earlobes, her cheeks, and her forehead. This is the starting point because it involves the non-sexual zones of the body and as such stokes the fire of desire by specifically frustrating its further progression.


Night 2: She Returns the Favor

Tonight, the wife should follow suit and do the same to her husband. Reciprocity is essential in marriage. You can't be a glutton for pleasure. You have to show that you derive as much joy from witnessing your spouse come alive through your touch as you do from being touched yourself. The husband, being the gentleman he is, however, must pamper his wife first.




Night 3: It's Touch Time

On night three we're going to make the transformation from the sensual to the more sexual. Tonight, the husband should touch his wife’s body all over, this time paying special attention to her erogenous zones . End the evening by focusing specifically on her sexual zone. He should arouse her but not bring her to climax. Oh, and no intercourse. Behave!




Night 4: His Turn

On night four, the wife does the same to her husband, though intercourse sex is still a no-no. And no, he can’t cheat by having a quickie, so tell him to stop begging.  This is all about widening the definition of sex. So often sex comes to mean simple intercourse followed by unfulfilling climax. Here, we are demonstrating that sex is all about making love. It involves not just a few parts of the body but all of the body. To make this effective, sexual control and discipline are, of course, mandatory. Succumbing to the desire to purge the sexual urge negates all that you wish to accomplish in terms of heightening arousal and increasing desire.







Night 5: Deep Kissing

On the fifth night, it’s time for the couple to do some serious kissing.  Kiss for an hour straight, with heavy petting. Start kissing with your eyes closed, and after doing that for a long while, open your eyes and peer deeply into the portal of each other’s soul. Concentrate on breathing and use looking at each other as a form of non-verbal communication. Whoa. Your desire is probably reaching a crescendo.




Night 6: Have a  "Mind Orgasm"

Once all that passion has built up and you are yearning to consummate your lust, finally make love. But even then, make love without climax.  Have intercourse that lasts a long, long time. Yes, I know it takes immense discipline. But so does getting up for work in the morning, and you do that five times a week, right? What you will experience is a “mind orgasm,” an explosion of incredible erotic power that goes off like a depth-charge in the brain.  With a mind orgasm, physical release is not even contemplated because the erotic zone is no longer in your lower regions. Instead of going for quick sexual release, mine each other for information. The man should ask his wife, with intense directness, to describe the sensations in her body. Demand that she reveal her deepest sexual secrets. Need insatiably to know her. Devour her with your mind.





Night 7: Take It Home

On the seventh night, the sacred night, the Sabbath night, finally make love and allow your burning passion to culminate in an explosive extravaganza of sexual ecstasy. Even then, take your time and make the evening last and count. What you should not do is use the number of orgasms you have as any indication of the quality of sex you’ve had. On the contrary, remember that it’s better to have a long, steady-burn of lovemaking and passion than 10 minutes of intercourse followed by 10 seconds of orgasmic pleasure. Remember, it’s the intimate journey that is the reward.




This Article from: www.beliefnet.com

Tree of life Tattoo

Source: Uploaded by user via Joycee on Pinterest

Finding Love

datinganswer.com

Finding love, I should say, is one of the most wonderful and happy feeling in the world.

Have someone to love, to care for, to talk to, to spend time with, and to make life worth living.  If you have found that someone, I’m sure you know how blessed you are and you know why you should take care of it.


As we know, not everyone have the opportunity to find love, that someone who will complement them for long haul, especially nowadays, where most people don’t have that strong commitment as before.

Many relationships end up with separation and divorce because one, or both parties, gave up their commitment to stay together through whatever.

It may be because they fell out of love or the relationship became too hard to manage because of misunderstanding, false expectations or mismatch of desires and personalities.  With these scenarios, finding love, and the right person, has become one of the challenges in today’s world.

Whether you have never been in love and in relationship, or you’ve just been in a heartbreaking relationship, I’ve wrote this article to share with you some of the lessons I’ve learned about finding love.

I will provide 3 practical tips and steps that will equip you in your journey in finding love into your life.  These advices will help you save yourself from the painful experience of separation, as well as give you ways on how you can search and find the one or right person.

I remember just recently I was talking to a friend who was complaining why it’s hard for her to find love.  I’ve asked, “Do you prioritize looking for love?”, and she asked back, “do I need to think about it and prioritize it?”  I’ve answered, “of course, what we think and prioritize transpire into reality.”


I know a lot of people believe that love is destiny.  That finding love is something which happens to you in the right time, right place and right person, and it’s something to be waited because it will fall in your life at the perfect time without the need for you do something.  I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it rarely happens.  That scenario only happens in love stories and romantic movies.  If you will wait for destiny to unfold your love life, you may have to spend a lifetime waiting.


If you want to find and have love, then you have to think about it, you have to look for it, and you have to give priority to it.

And to help you in your search to find love, here are the 3 things you need to do:

1. Define the Person, and Relationship, You Want

You may find this weird but the first step to finding love is to define what you are looking for.  Like anything else in life, love first manifests in our mind, in our thoughts.

Isn’t when we want something, we first create it in our mind and then we define the characteristic and features, before we go out looking for the best deal?
Treat finding love and the right person that way.  Before you go out in search for love, be sure to identify first what you are looking for.  Keep in mind, however, that “right” doesn’t mean perfect, it simply means the suitable and appropriate to the criteria you are looking for.  If you set for perfect, you will never find it for no one will ever be perfect.


2. Go out and Attend Different Events without Your Friends once in awhile

Most people are afraid to go out of their comfort zone.  They are afraid to go out and try new things, and they have limiting beliefs on a lot of things, which prohibits them not only to find love, but as well as to enjoy their life to the fullest.

The next step in finding love is to try getting out of your comfort zone.  Attend events and gatherings alone, once in a while, without the usual comfort of familiar people, such as friends, co-workers and family.  It will be your chance to meet and mingle with different kinds of people, and a great opportunity to find love or the right person.

You eliminate such opportunity if you always go out with your peers, not unless the person you want to be with is within the familiar people.


3. Date Around, Collect and Select

One false expectation is to think once you attend events or gathering, found a person you think is right for you, everything else will fall into place and you will become couples.  But sad to say, rarely does it also happen.

Oftentimes, you will be in a situation where you will go out in a couple of dates first before you finally meet the one.  And it’s not a bad thing because it gives you time and space to carefully choose the person you will want to invest your time and emotion with.

Remember that love and relationship is an investment too, and the prices you invest are your emotions or feelings and time.  If you will take time finding and selecting the right person, you will save yourself from devastating feeling of heartbreak and you won’t be wasting your precious time with the wrong person.

So take time to enjoy this stage of dating.  When you are sure and ready, be mindful to select carefully.

written by Lou Macabasco - Yanuaria - www.lifetofullest.com

Online Dating Tips

blog.ningin.com

Take the Dangers Out of Online Dating


More and more people are seeing on-line dating as one way to meet people given the technology and busy schedules.

I have three main areas of concern: Safety, dishonesty and the fact that 30% of on-line daters are already married.

So in order to help with these issues, here are a few guidelines I’ve put together to help if you decide to go that route. Feel free to add to these on this blog and tell us your stories of success or failure with this approach to dating.



1) Use common sense and pay attention to your gut reaction. This is often the Holy Spirit in you, warning you that things may not be right.

2) If he or she sounds too good to be true, he or she probably is to good to be true and isn’t being truthful on his or her profile.

3) Listen and watch (by video) for signs of a temper, control, depression, etc. and run for the hills if you sense this person needs therapy first. You aren’t going to change him or her. Let the person get help.

4) Use a free email account with first name and something else. This way a person cannot search all your personal details.

5) Ask for a RECENT picture and encourage the person to send candid shots for more realism. You don’t want major surprises when you meet. Awkward!

6) If any one asks for money, do not give it. Most likely you are being scammed.

7) Don’t reveal details of your personal life too soon and be careful what you reveal. I had a client who told a guy she had money before she even met him. She was never sure if he was attracted to her for the money or because he genuinely liked her.

8) Paid services usually have more safety and screening procedures than free.

9) If you do have a home phone, don’t give out the number. Use your cell or a prepaid phone.

10) Some people have a great deal of social awkwardness at meeting others. If you meet and it feels awkward, you may want to give it another chance to see if the person settles down and is interesting.

11) Meet in a public space the first time.

12) Don’t use a provocative handle to get interest. The interest you get is not the kind of interest you want.

13) Don’t go into questionable chat rooms.

14) Use Skype (and other visual media) and Facetime to actually see each other if the relationship progresses. You get more information when you can observe nonverbal behavior.

15) Think about how your photos may be used. Once you send them to the Cloud or cyberspace, people can use them however they want. And get permission from any person who might be in a photo with you. Better yet, crop that person out of the photo. It violates his or her privacy.

This article from: beliefnet.com

Finding Mr. Right

nuffnang.com

Tips for successful women fed up with kissing frogs

Both women and men are waiting longer and longer to get married for the first time, according to the Census Bureau, and fewer women are having babies before their 40th birthdays, the Centers for Disease Control reports. Interestingly, more and more women are having babies well into their 40s. Could it be that it has become more difficult for couples to connect romantically?


“Women are likely to be more independent and professionally successful than they were a generation or two ago, and that’s wonderful, but it can come with baggage,” says Jane Atkinson, author of The Frog Whisperer: A Three-Step Approach to Finding Lasting Love (www.frogwhisperer.com). “We’re less likely to think about the energy we’re putting out to others, particularly the opposite sex, and that energy has a lot to do with how people react to us.”


Atkinson says finding Mr. or Ms. Right requires taking your eyes off of work and focusing on yourself more. What can you do to become the person you would want to date? She offers some tips for finding “the one.”


Figure out what you’re looking for. Have you thought hard about what kind of person you’re looking for? One trick is to visualize your perfect day. Are you at the beach? Traveling? Is the man with you quiet or chatty? Is the woman serious or funny? Does he want children? Does she go to church? This will help you identify the characteristics and values of your Mr. or Ms. Right so you can recognize them when he or she comes along.

Get happy in your own head. Once again, it’s all about attraction. Putting out positive, confident energy will attract the same. Besides, it’s never a good idea to rely on other people to make us happy. If you need to recover from old hurts, lose weight or find a job, take care of that business first.


Think you’re ready? Test yourself with this quick quiz.

Are you happy with yourself? (Or are you miserable because you’ve put on 50 pounds since your divorce?)

Are you looking for someone to rescue you or take care of you? (If you answer “yes” to this one, you may not be ready.)

Is there room in your life for a relationship? (Or do you have three kids and work a 60-hour week?)

Has enough time passed since your last relationship? (Or are you still wounded?)

Now, get yourself fabulous. Rather than, “Why can’t I find a good man?” ask yourself, “Who do I need to become to attract the man (or woman) who is perfect for me?” It’s not about changing you; it’s about being your best you. Part of that is your mojo – your self-esteem. If your mojo is slipping, you’ll attract control freaks, players and jerks. Pump it up with a makeover, a workout, a sincere inventory of your attributes.


Get out there! Put on your sexy jeans get yourself out the door. Where to start looking? If you enjoy working with your hands, volunteer for a Habitat for Humanity project. If you’ve always wanted to learn Italian, take a class. If you love to do yoga, check out a new studio (ladies, you’ll find a surprising number of guys there.) Perhaps you find a new church or take a class on Buddhism. The list of meeting spots for singles is a long one: bookstores, dance clubs, supper clubs, book clubs, gyms, golf courses, rowing clubs, dog parks.


Atkinson’s tips come from real-life experience. At 40, she realized she’d been kissing a lot of frogs and found not one prince. She applied the model she developed for her business, tweaked it and came up with “Frog Whisperer” – and a prince of a husband.

Jane Atkinson is the author of The Frog Whisperer: A 3-Step Approach to Finding Lasting Love and The Frog Whisperer Journal as well as a Positive Practice audio CD to help women (and men) get mentally ready for meeting their perfect mate. She lives in London, Ontario, with her husband of four years, John. Learn more about www.frogwhisperer.com.

This Article from: Beliefnet.com

Here are ways to find a new love

posted by: Tom Blake
thirdage.com

You've decided to date again, but your skills are a little rusty. Plus, you've been told the traditional ways of finding love don't work. So what's a woman to do? Follow these 12 tips and suggestions to get your dating game going.


1. Sitting at home doesn't hack it. Get out and about. It doesn't matter where you go -- just commit to getting out.


2. Seize every opportunity. Always carry name cards printed with your telephone number. Hand them out to dating prospects, anywhere you see them. Make eye contact, and mention you'd like to hear from them.


3. Network relentlessly. Networking is the most effective date-finding tool. Ask your friends and acquaintances if they know of someone nice for you. Have them ask their friends.


4. Let him call you. If he says, "Call me," don't. His fingers are as capable as yours at dialing. If he's interested and has your number, he'll call.


5. Think creatively. Single men go to singles dances, but so do a million women. You'd be better off at a large home improvement store where lots of men wander the aisles. With a straight face and a smile, ask a single-looking guy something like, "Is this a left-handed screwdriver?"Computer stores and sporting goods outlets also have favorable men-to-women ratios. Avoid hanging out around race car crews, however...the men might be too fast!


6. Golf, anyone? Single men golf. Take up the game by starting off at a driving range. If a man offers some pointers, accept them graciously and give him your name card. If he's married, ask him to introduce you to his single friends and work on improving your game so you can advance to the golf course.


7. Attend youth sports games on Saturday mornings. You'll find divorced dads and widower grandpas there. Blend in along the sidelines. Compliment how his son or grandson played and, of course, hand over a copy of your name card.


8. Learn to use a computer. Millions of singles meet on the Internet, reaching out to each other all over America (and all over the world). For all of the Internet horror stories, there are many successes, and you just might find a local dating group.


9. Exercise daily. Not only does exercise help you look and feel better, but it puts you out among other people. Join or start a co-ed walking or jogging group. Join a health club where tons of single guys pump iron, and, while you're there, ask if you're using correct form.


10. Travel. Planes, trains or automobiles? The train is best for meeting other singles, since you can move around and don't have to wear a seat belt. Start a conversation and ask to meet up at meals or ask a single gentleman in the dining car if you may join him.


11. Single men like sandwich shops and car washes.Comment on their roast beef sandwich or their sparkling car. You'll get a conversation going.


12. Trust your instincts. If you have a bad gut-feeling about a man, you're probably right. Avoid him.


By thinking creatively, acting friendly and taking the initiative, you'll improve your chances of meeting men. Remember, dating is a numbers game: number four might be your guy, or you might not strike gold till number 26. Don't give up, and most of all, have fun.

Tom Blake is the author of Middle Aged and Dating Again (Tooter's, 1997) and host of the Thirdage Dating After 50 discussion.

Life Inspiration Quote

this quote from: beliefnet.com

Love and time: those are the only two things in all the world and all of life that cannot be bought, but only spent.

-Gary Jennings

Pick a Good Partner

10 Tips to Help You Pick a Good Partner

Tips for making good choices about dating, relating and mating.

Published on October 21, 2011 by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. in Emotional Fitness

Some people have what I have come to call "broken pickers." They just can't seem to pick good partners for themselves. If this is something you're dealing with, here are some tips for making good choices when it comes to dating and mating.
1. People will tell you exactly who they are; it's up to you to listen. If someone says they're usually in a bad mood or don't know how to be monogamous, hear what they are saying and don't think you can change them.
2. Take a test drive. Go for an eight-hour drive with your intended. Whatever difficulties you may have will make themselves painfully obvious. This test is not for the faint of heart or for those with heart conditions.
3. Look for someone who is kind and loving. If you're really lucky, your partner will also have a family who taught him or her how to be that way. Having in-laws who treat you like a member of the family will make your life much nicer.

4. Make sure the person you're seeing doesn't smoke, even if you do. If he or she is a nonsmoker, it may get you to stop. Think of it this way: you're choosing happiness over death.
5. Find someone you can talk to. As time passes, this quality is more important than looks, money, or position. If you can't talk to your partner or cry on his or her shoulder, it's not going to be a good match.
6. Make sure you have the basics in common. For example, if one of you wants children and the other doesn't, it's a deal breaker. Spiritual and political differences can also be difficult to deal with. As we age, our feelings in these areas tend to intensify.7. Make sure that you have enough differences that, if you are unable to go out, you can still entertain each other. If someone is just like you, it might get a little boring as time goes by.
8. Physical compatibility has more to do with touch than it does with sex. If you're a tactile person, you need to be with someone who shares that desire. People's desire for sex changes over a lifetime, but our need for touch remains fairly constant.
9. Beware of people who want to get married immediately.Engagements were created for a reason. They used to call them "handfasts," and they lasted for a year and a day. Things move much quicker these days, but it's wise to know someone for at least six months before getting engaged.
10. Find someone who makes you laugh. A sense of humor can help you overcome many of life's obstacles. If someone can make you smile when you don't feel like it, that's a great quality.
There are no guarantees in life. It isn't possible to be absolutely sure about anyone. Take your time; listen to your friends and to your intuition. Picking the right person for the right reasons at the right time is an art form.

Article from: http://www.psychologytoday.com

The Best Marriage Advice You've Ever Heard

Tips to Make Your Marriage Better

Our readers and fans share their favorite advice for making marriage stronger and happier.

Is there something your mother once told you that stayed with you forever? Did a gal pal once set you straight about love? Or did a television talk show host give you insights that you’ve been able to use in your life? As part of our “Lessons for Living” series, we’ve asked our readers and fans to share the best marriage advice they have ever received. Read on for 18 tips that have changes the lives of married couples.

Respect, Trust, and Love

Respect, Trust, and Love; My husband and I followed these steps, and been happily married for 18 years!

-Elva Martinez Sandoval

Be Open to Change

The best advice I have received is to be open to change and allow your love for one another to expand and grow. It gives for an exciting ride!

-Stacey Williams-Haremski

Neither Of You Are Perfect

Treat your spouse with the loving kindness you expect to receive then do a bit more. Understand that you are not perfect and don't expect them to be.

-Helen Mikus

Be Supportive

It is very important for both of you to be supportive of the other one's ideas, goals. Stand beside them even though sometimes you may disagree with the other one. Keep the lines of communication open, for if you don't, your partner will not let you know what is going on. If you shut them out, they feel unwanted. Let them know that you are there for them and that you love them in spite of themselves.

-Ann Taylor Johnson

Stand By Each Other and Listen

Understand that your spouse is a person with needs, wants and desires that probably differ from your own. Support your spouse (even if you think they're wrong) in public and discuss differences in private. Take every opportunity to say, "I love you"...and mean it. Finally, listen!

-Bert

Share The Same Values

Find someone who values the same things in life that you do. Opposites attract, but like things stick together.

-Gail Ramsdell

You Choose to Love

You wake up every day and make the decision to love that person. It doesn't just happen, you make the choice.

-Mary Koran Keaton

Pray Together

Pray aloud together every day, there's no better way to learn what's truly on a person's heart and mind than to hear what they're talking to God about.

-Beth Montgomery

Keep The Fire Burning

You have to keep the flame burning, the flames won't fan themselves!

-Diane Huff

Don't Focus On Faults

When you see faults in your spouse it’s best to look for yours also. Or stop looking for faults in your spouse or you may realize he is looking at yours too.

-Diane Duncan

Give It Your All

Marriage isn’t 50/50. It’s 100/100. You need to give whole heartedly to each other and everything will work out. Trust in god and your partner.

-Nicole Harriman-hill

Be Best Friends

You must be best friends, too. I can go to my other half and not worry about being put down no matter what. If I make a mistake or he does, we work it out by talking.

-Ann Taylor Johnson

Take Responsibility For Your Self

Understand that everything you ask your partner to give you can only be found inside yourself. Be responsible for you and let your partner be responsible by him/herself. Live together but not depend upon each other.

-Daniela Vianello

Trust, Honesty, Kindness, and Forgiveness

Lots of trust, honesty, kindness, and forgiveness.

-Gina Gregson

"You're Right About That"

The best marriage advice I've ever received is from a lecture by Dr. Wayne Dyer my wife and I attended, "You're Right About That". My wife and I have a lot of fun now with this short statement. It's gotten so we know that when the other one says this that they are really saying, "you're wrong, but I love you enough to pretend you're right!" We laugh together when one of us uses this line. It's a great attitude.

- Scott

Don't Try to Change Your Partner

Do not enter into marriage hoping to change the other person!

-Stephanie Worrall

He Is The Company He Keeps

"Birds of a feather flock together". Be sure you like his siblings, parents and his friends before you marry. Like it or not, these people are with you all your married life. Look at them and you see what he is made of.

-Jeanie

Show Lots of Affection

This may sound weird but, treat your spouse like you treat your pet. Give plenty of hugs and kisses, praise them, and pet them for no reason. When you wake up tell them you love them. When you go away and return, be excited to see them. In the middle of a heated argument that's going nowhere just stop and give your spouse a big kiss this takes the ...edge off and both either laugh or hopefully can talk it out without a scream fest.

-Debbie Tomlin Wilson

Article from: www.beliefnet.com

7 Risky Questions Every Wife Needs to Ask

What's it like to be married to me?
Author Linda Dillow talks about the seven risky questions every wife should ask herself from her new book, "What's It Like to be Married to Me?"

A wife and especially a wife who is also a Mom, lives her life scattered and segmented. She sighs: "I never think about my marriage.  My life is a treadmill, and I can’t stop running and think.  I just move from one area of need to another.  My children and job scream louder than my husband, so he gets the leftovers of me." (married 14 years)

Believe me, I understand.  I had three children in three years, adopted a fourth when he was a teen, and had teenagers ages 13, 14,15 and 17.  I can still feel that overwhelming scatteredness that made my head spin.

When life is wild, we don’t stop and think about our priorities.  We don’t think about what is really important.  We don’t take time to look at God’s Word and call out to Him, “Search my heart, O God!”
 
I realized I couldn’t wait until life slowed down to think about my marriage ….I had to do it now.  So I got brave and asked myself risky questions like, "What is it like to be married to me?" God met me in the middle of the questions.  Will you be brave and ask risky questions?


What is REALLY important to me?

“I work a stressful job and come home to kids, cooking, laundry, and a husband with needs.  Everyone at home and work wants a piece of me.”  Another wife said it like this:  “I never think about my marriage.  My life is a treadmill, and I can’t stop running and think.”
 
Do you realize that your choices reveal what is important to you?  When I had three little ones, I realized that my choices must say that my husband is my first priority of all the people on earth. I could push my relationship with my husband off until life got easier but I decided that normal life means hectic, normal means time is at a premium, that time as a couple is hard to come by. I knew that I could live my marriage by default or by design. It was my choice.
 
I’m so grateful that when the kids were little, I stopped to think about my marriage and chose to have a marriage by design. Now, in the empty nest, we are reaping the benefits!


What does it feel like to be my husband?
“I criticize my husband on a daily basis." (married 17 years)

“I take my husband for granted.  He gets the worst part of me on my bad days and what’s left of me most days." (married 34 years)

Are these husband comments typical?  I’m sorry to say they are.  Solomon described many wives when he said, “A nagging wife is like a dripping rain drop.  Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.” (Proverbs 27:15-16)

God says our griping, grumbling, nagging and venting attitude is wrong and when a husband feels criticized, and nagged the marriage is sliding down a slippery slope.  But there is hope!  Tell your gripes to God and not to your husband (Psalm 142:1-3) and put on a no-griping bracelet.  What is that?  Any bracelet you put on your right wrist and change to the left when you gripe.  Then you move it back when you grumble again.  This exercise helps us as wives to be aware of what is coming out of our mouths.  I promise you will learn and understanding is the first step to change!


Am I willing to change my attitude?
The most important prayer in the world is just two words long:  “Thank you.”  We wives need an attitude change.  Griping goes out, gratitude comes in!  Wouldn’t you rather be known as a thankful wife instead of a griping, grumbling, venting one?  I would.  So I went on a hunt to discover ways to grow in gratitude.

First, I wanted to grow in God Gratitude.  I burned Psalm 92:1-2 into my mind and heart.  “It is good to give thanks to the Lord and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your loving-kindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night.”  Before I got out of bed in the morning, I thanked God for His unfailing love to me.  At night I thanked Him specifically for His faithfulness to me throughout that day.  I got excited about thanking God every morning and night.

Second, I wanted to grow in Husband Gratitude.  I bought myself a “Thankful Journal” and once a week I wrote what I was thankful for in this man I live with.  As I wrote down my “thankfuls,” I was surprised how long the list grew.    As my list grew, so did my heart of gratitude.  My attitude changed.  Yours can too!


What will it take for me to get close to you?
I’m going to tell you a secret: men and women are different!  I somehow don’t think you’re shocked.  Can a wife really get close to this husband who is so different from her?  Absolutely.  It begins with understanding his “gap.”  God says both husbands and wives have gaps and their gaps are not the same.  A wife has a “love gap” and a husband has a “respect gap.”  And God’s plan is to fill your husband’s “respect gap” through you, by your words of encouragement and admiration.

The Message renders Ephesians 4:29 like this:  “Say only what helps, each word a gift.”  Can you imagine how your husband would feel if each word you spoke to him was a gift?  I see emotional intimacy as entering into each other's life and hearing not just the words but the heart.  And then opening your mouth and pouring courage into the one you love.  It is as if you come alongside your husband on his journey through life and speak words to encourage him when life is tough.  You choose words that build him up and tell him, “I respect the man you are becoming!”


What is it like to make love with me?
Does any wife want to ask this question?  How would your husband answer?  For the past twelve years, I’ve traveled around the world teaching Christian women about the joys of sexual intimacy.  I’m sad to report that many wives are afraid of sex, disappointed in sexual intimacy, hindered by guilt over their wrong choices or confused over what a godly and sensuous wife looks like.

God is for sex!  He longs for every wife to revel in the beauty, the holiness, the joy of intimate oneness and pleasure.  Read Proverbs 5: 15-19.  What do you see in these verses?  I see pleasure.  I see delight.  I see fun. I see freedom, abandonment, intoxication and ecstasy.  This is what God wants for me and for you!

I remember talking to Sadie, a precious young woman who had suffered horrible sexual abuse.  She described her intimacy with her husband as “tolerable.”  Her counselor and friends said it was amazing with her background that it was even tolerable.  I remember the day Sadie said to me, “I’m going to trust God to take us beyond 'tolerable.'"  And God did more than Sadie imagined possible.  Today joy and delight describe their sexual relationship.  Our God is a God who heals!  I pray joy and delight will be your words too!


Why do I want to stay mad at you?
“I want to stay mad because you are clearly in the wrong and I’m not.  If I give up being mad, then it’s like I’m lying down and giving up—saying that you’re right.  I want to stay mad because then I have more ammunition stored up for the day I get to explode.  Is this right?  No!  But it’s so hard to let it go and give it up to the Father.” This honest woman is right, it isn’t right to hold on to my 'mad' at my husband.  Sure, it feels good….for a moment. But it builds bitterness and hardness between us.  God has some good reasons for us to give up our 'mad.'

Forgiving kicks Satan out!
The apostle Paul encourages us to forgive so that Satan will not outsmart us.  (2 Cor. 2:11)  Outsmarted by the Evil One?  No thank you!  I don’t like the picture of my adversary, Satan, squealing with delight because I’ve chosen to hold a grudge.  Kick Satan out!  Don’t let him win!


Is it possible to grow together when things fall apart?

Life is full of problems.  In a marriage, a crisis presents the potential for one of two things:

1. Danger that the crisis will tear us apart and destroy our oneness
2. Opportunity that the crisis will push us together and deepen our oneness

The way to grow together when problems assault you is to apply God’s Word to your crisis.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5,6)  There are three things in these verses that you are to do:  Trust with all YOUR heart, don’t lean on YOUR own understanding, Acknowledge God in all YOUR ways. If those three things happen then HE will smooth out the rough places in your life and marriage.  Will you pray this dangerous prayer?


My Father, teach me how to trust You.  I want crisis to bring my husband and me closer together.  I’m up when things are good and down when they’re bad.  I long for us to grow closer together in the hard times.  Please help me!


Read more: www.beliefnet.com

5 Ways to Get a Good Night's Sleep

How to Get Your Zzzz's

I don’t have to explain to you why sleep is important. Our bodies were designed with an innate need for daily, deep rest and relaxation. It refreshes and rejuvenates us for the day ahead. However, many people suffer through night after night of disruptive sleep. If that’s you, here are a few tips to help you get your zzz’s.

Jennifer E. Jones is the Inspiration Editor who needs a good eight hours of sleep to keep her sunny disposition.


Wind Down with the Sun
Tap into your natural circadian rhythms with the rising and setting of the sun. When the sun goes down, let that be your cue to begin to wind down as well. Of course, you don’t have to hit the sack immediately, but begin to quiet your body. Wind down with some light reading or relaxing on your porch. Keep high-energy and mentally complex activities for the daylight hours.


Make Your Bedroom the Room for Rest
The bedroom isn’t your entertainment room, office or study. Or at least it shouldn’t be. When you have it outfitted with televisions and laptops, it’s easy to get distracted from sleep. Remove any unnecessary items from your bedroom and make it a place mainly for relaxation.


Let Pets Sleep in Their Own Bed
I will catch some flak for this, but there’s scientific research to back it up. If you have trouble sleeping and you share your bed with a pet, there’s a good chance Fluffy is the cause. From night roaming, scratching to acting out their own dreams, pets are moving around and waking you up far more often than you realize. According to WebMD, dogs can be trained to sleep in their own beds, and cats… well, it’s best to leave them outside the bedroom.


Don't Eat Too Much So Close to Bedtime
When it’s time to sleep, your body prefers to do just that and not much else. When you eat too much right before bed, your body is working hard to digest all that food and it can’t concentrate on preparing itself for sleep. So, do your body a favor and create a gap between dinner time and bedtime; experts suggest about three hours.


Pray, Meditate and Clear Your Mind
Worry and stress are sleep robbers too. It’s hard to relax when your mind is racing. Make some space at night for your own personal quiet time. Meditate and pray. Read something that will encourage you to let go of your problems. When you stop worrying, you will sleep better.


Read More: www.beliefnet.com

Your 6-Step Guide to Being More Satisfied in Bed

Get Your Groove Back
Don't listen to Mick Jagger. We actually can get some satisfaction and, when it comes to sex, maybe a lot. How? Judy Dutton, author of How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover, interviewed a slew of sex researchers, analyzed studies, and talked to average people about what turns them on. She shares some scientifically based tips to put some sizzle back in your relationship.


Turn On Your Brain with a Date Night
Forget the dinner and movie. Instead, Dutton suggests sign up for dancing lessons together. Two left feet? Try cooking class. Opt for any type of activity that engages your mind as well as your body. Researchers at Stony Brook University in New York found that brain scans of couples who were madly in love after two decades of marriage had the same neural activity as those couples who recently fell in love. Scientists believe that long-married couples who show this kind of brain activity release dopamine, a feel good brain chemical that is in abundance when we first fall in love. How do they keep love alive? One way to up their dopamine levels is to do novel things as a couple. “Learning something new together is basically like tricking your brain into falling in love all over again,” says Dutton. Ideally, she says couples should plan some type of challenging date at least one evening a week. (For those of us who live in a world crowded with deadlines, lunch boxes and babysitters, an adventurous date once a month could be a worthy goal.)


Just Do It
If you're waiting for the perfect moment for good lovin', know this: it may be trickier for women to figure out when the time is right. Researchers studying male and female arousal found that women get physically aroused as rapidly as men when they viewed sexually explicit material. Psychologically, though, it was another story. While men reported that the videos made them horny, women rated some pictures as "not arousing," despite the fact that they'd experienced increased vaginal blood flow when viewing explicit images. “There obviously is a disconnect between body response and mind response,” says Dutton. Of course, no one should feel coerced into sex. But if you're on the fence, try a little tenderness. Sometimes making love makes you feel like making love. “It’s kind of like going to the gym,” says Dutton. “A lot of times you don’t want to go, but when you do, you’re happy you did it. The same thing goes for sex.” And you don't need to pay a monthly membership.


Let Biology Work in Your Favor
Studies show that women are most attractive to men and feel their sexiest when they are ovulating–generally about 14 days after the start of a menstrual cycle. For many women, that’s when the sex drive is highest. According to Dutton, some research shows that women unconsciously dress more provocatively during ovulation. And you can pass this scientific tidbit on to your boyfriend: Studies show that women are twice as likely to have an orgasm when ovulating. “It’s purely a timing issue, not necessarily technique,” says Dutton. Of course, you don't have to tell him that. Just smile.


Add Spice to Vanilla Sex
Researchers found that more variety in bed means more orgasms. One study found that among women who engaged in a “no frills” type of sexual intercourse with their partners only about 50 percent had an orgasm. But if the couples did three activities in bed—intercourse, manual stimulation and oral stimulation, for example—the women were about twice as likely to be orgasmic than those in the “no frills” group. Doing more in bed also changes the quality of your orgasm. Instead of just having the clitoris stimulated to induce a clitoral orgasm, women will have "blended" orgasms, meaning many different nerve pathways are aroused, including the vagina, clitoris, and cervix. And researchers say “blended” orgasms are definitely the more toe-curling variety. Trying to think of different things to do? You can make love like a rock star (think baby oil and a shower). Or like a librarian. Researchers have documented women becoming orgasmic from having their hands or eyebrows rubbed, or even by just thinking of an orgasm, says Dutton.


Gimme An A! Gimme A U! Gimme A G!
We've all heard about the “G spot,” that sure-to-arouse zone in the vagina that's as tricky to locate as the Yeti. Other cultures have identified some new hot spots that are believed to be equally as sensitive. In the 1980s, a Malaysian sexologist discovered the anterior fornix erogenous zone, or "A spot." According to the paper he published in the journal Sexual and Marital Therapy, women who have their A spots stimulated, become lubricated in five to 10 seconds and orgasm in one to two minutes. (The “A” spot is in the belly-side of the vagina, two to three inches in.) Researchers in the United Kingdom discovered the “U spot," a tiny bit of tissue surrounding the urethral opening. It seems that women who orgasm during intercourse actually do so because their "U spots" are being stimulated, according to a report in the journal Experimental and Clinical Endocrinology & Diabetes. Happy hunting.


Keepin' It Real
Dutton believes one of the most important things to remember is the “2-6-2” rule. Studies show that about every 10 times you have sex, two of those times on average will be wonderful, six of those times will be adequate, and two of those times will be less than stellar. “I think it’s most important to enjoy the relationship you have and then work together to see how you can improve it," says Dutton. Stop comparing. "No one is having great sex all the time, but we believe everyone is having better sex than we are." According to the 2-6-2 rule, less than stellar sex with someone you love means that wonderful sex is just around the corner. And with these tips, getting there is going to be a lot of fun.



Read More http://www.ivillage.com/your-6-step-guide-being-more-satisfied-bed/4-b-122060#ixzz1aH7NWGFx
Sign up for iVillage Special Offers

8 Ways to Stop Holding a Grudge

Learn to Let Go and Forgive

By Renita Williams
We all have experienced hurt and pain in our lives. Sometimes we are exposed to experiences so painful that they leave marks that are difficult to heal-especially if we feel somone has wronged us or harmed us.
A natural response may be to develop a grudge, or even a hatred of the person who has caused us pain. But the person who holds the gudge always suffers more!
The longer we hold a grudge the more difficult it is to forgive and move on. You can begin to free yourself when you begin to forgive. Here are eight ways to get a grip on the pain and find the strength to let it go.


Acknowledge the Problem
Figure out what it is that’s causing you to hold a grudge. You have to know what the problem is in order to solve it. When you allow yourself to see the real issue you can then make a choice to move forward from there.


Share Your Feelings
A grudge can form when an issue isn’t fully confronted. Without being judgemental about yourself or another, clarify your feelings on the situation. Then, decide if this is something you will work on in your own heart or by contacting the other person involved. Only when you are ready, communicate with the other person about the issue. Whether you work it out on your own or involved the other person, you may feel more relieved by releasing that built up tension and all involved can have a better understanding of the situation and able to resolve the issue.


Switch Places
To get a better understanding of the other person, try putting yourself in their shoes. This will give you a better understanding of their point of view and behavior. Maybe the person in question was in a lot of pain. This doesn’t justify their negativity, but it will help you understand it. The more you understand the other person and their behavior, the easier it is not to let go of a grudge.


Accept What Is
Choose to create your own healing, with or without an apology. Don’t wait for the person you are upset with to come around. For all you know they are already past the issue and not putting as much thought into it. Even if they don’t offer an apology, it doesn’t mean they are not remorseful. Some people are unable to apologize or may not fully understand that the person they hurt may need to hear one.


Don’t Dwell On It
Once you have decided to move on, keep on moving. Don’t put too much thought into the situation or continuously discuss it. It will only make things worse and harder to get over. If ever the issue is brought up in conversation, change the subject or just look at it as the past and leave it there.


Look at the Bright Side
For every negative situation there is a positive. If you take this as a learning experience, you will benefit from knowing more about yourself and the other person. Choose to learn a valuable lesson or walk away with a better understanding that can help you let go of the issue and not resent the other person.


Let It Go
Letting go allows room for peace and happiness. A long lasting grudge will only drain you physically and emotionally and can surely affect your health. You will use more energy than you can imagine by holding a grudge than you will by letting go.


Forgive
Of course forgiving doesn’t mean you will forget the issue. It’s just acknowledging your differences and accepting that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes we should learn from. Forgiving isn’t the easiest to do especially when you’ve endured a lot of hurt and pain, but it’s the only way to truly let go and have peace.



Read more: www.beliefnet.com